Okay, so this issue has been going on for a while. (Years at least!) And the last reply to this thread was a few months ago so who knows when someone will see this
(This post isn't about a solution, but about why it may be happening. So if you are looking for a solution, I apologize in advance...I just had a theory and wanted to share
I'm obviously here because I'm having the same issue. And as I'm reading these, I'm seeing a common thread: the recent contacts that are "sticking" at the top or being suggested by iMessage (even after being deleted are ALL EXes it seems. Not old colleagues, neighbors etc. But exes. Why?? iMessage suggests certain contacts before others for a reason. Interaction.
Is it possible that our exes are reading through old conversations & photos on their end and iMessage perceives that as an interaction between the two numbers/accounts and therefore is putting it as a recent??
I have two different exes that I've watched this with and they're always near the top of the list (when I type the 1st letter of their name) even though I haven't talked to one in almost 2 years and the other in 8 months. One is deleted and one is not. One is an android user and one is also iPhone.
Anyway...it was just a theory. I'd be interested to hear anyone else's input.