1. Rob Phillips's Avatar
    I’ve been informed by people asking how many kids my husband and I have, when I say we don’t have any, that we are selfish.

    No. I’m infertile.

    There’s absolutely some haughty superiority and ego for a LOT of people where popping out kids is concerned. I hear this at least a couple of times a month. I’ve started informing these people that I’m unable to have kids but thanks for reopening that old wound, to try to teach them a lesson in how to not be an asshat.

    It may be the most rewarding thing but it doesn’t make one better than another, and in my experience there’s a lot of people out there who think it does make them better, and they probably don’t even realize it.
    I agree with this. I think there’s a lot of pressure to conform to social norms so when that doesn’t happen people tend question it and meddle when it’s none of their business. For example, my wife and I both have college degrees. By the grace of god I make enough money to support the whole family, allowing my wife to stay home with our children, one of which has special needs. My wife is constantly berated for not working. She almost hates attending family events because of it. Because she chooses to stay at home (at least until both of our children are in school full time) she is made to feel like a lesser person.
    I have zero issues with a couple that chooses to not have kids and I have enough sense to respect their decision. Sure, there are people that have kids for the wrong reasons but I still feel that they represent a minority group.
    reeneebob and nikkisharif like this.
    02-02-2018 07:24 AM
  2. reeneebob's Avatar
    I agree with this. I think there’s a lot of pressure to conform to social norms so when that doesn’t happen people tend question it and meddle when it’s none of their business. For example, my wife and I both have college degrees. By the grace of god I make enough money to support the whole family, allowing my wife to stay home with our children, one of which has special needs. My wife is constantly berated for not working. She almost hates attending family events because of it. Because she chooses to stay at home (at least until both of our children are in school full time) she is made to feel like a lesser person.
    I have zero issues with a couple that chooses to not have kids and I have enough sense to respect their decision. Sure, there are people that have kids for the wrong reasons but I still feel that they represent a minority group.
    I’ve come to enjoy the look they get when I say I can’t have kids and they realize how awful they just were. If they don’t realize it and continue on - and you’d be shocked how many are that obtuse - I will continue on down the road of my explanation...depending on the day, I’m often upset enough to start tearing up and don’t even care because these nosy, haughty [redacted] need to be taught the lesson imma bout to teach them.

    It’s like an open wound. Every time.

    In response to the OP, though - it’s the parents responsibility. These kids don’t get cell plans and devices on their own. The parents need to actively set limits.

    Something that seems to be beyond the capabilities of many, unfortunately.
    Last edited by Just_Me_D; 02-04-2018 at 07:48 AM.
    Rob Phillips and nikkisharif like this.
    02-02-2018 07:31 AM
  3. Just_Me_D's Avatar
    It’s child abuse, letting them get addicted like this!
    (Laughing)....yeah, okay...
    02-02-2018 08:20 AM
  4. BreakingKayfabe's Avatar
    It’s child abuse, letting them get addicted like this!
    In order to stop this epidemic every man and woman on the face of the earth shall no longer have children.
    02-02-2018 09:49 AM
  5. BreakingKayfabe's Avatar
    I’ve been informed by people asking how many kids my husband and I have, when I say we don’t have any, that we are selfish.

    No. I’m infertile.
    I straight out give the truth too. I’m going on 2 years being married. I’ve told my wife I would never like to have children. Not even one. There is nothing more rewarding than being inside a home full of peace and quiet. It is the absolute best thing.
    reeneebob and nikkisharif like this.
    02-02-2018 09:51 AM
  6. Quis89's Avatar
    I’ve been informed by people asking how many kids my husband and I have, when I say we don’t have any, that we are selfish.

    No. I’m infertile.

    There’s absolutely some haughty superiority and ego for a LOT of people where popping out kids is concerned. I hear this at least a couple of times a month. I’ve started informing these people that I’m unable to have kids but thanks for reopening that old wound, to try to teach them a lesson in how to not be an asshat.

    It may be the most rewarding thing but it doesn’t make one better than another, and in my experience there’s a lot of people out there who think it does make them better, and they probably don’t even realize it.
    This is an interesting perspective. I've never felt cool or better than anyone because I'm a parent. I've always seen it as such a common thing. Anyone can be a parent (adoption or natural) so I've never felt like my status as a parent allowed me to look down on anyone.

    What I don't particularly enjoy is someone without kids telling parents how they should be raising theirs. It's tough to critique parenting when one hasn't had to parent a child themselves. Even as a parent, I understand all children are different so I try not to criticize other parents for what works for them so long as the child is loved and cared for.
    02-02-2018 10:02 AM
  7. Quis89's Avatar
    Plenty of people have children because they want their "legacy" to continue. I think people who have children for that reason or one of the reasons have a big ego.
    I didn't have kids because of a legacy reason. I had kids because I want to be a cool grandpa at some point. I'm selfish.
    02-02-2018 10:05 AM
  8. BreakingKayfabe's Avatar
    I didn't have kids because of a legacy reason. I had kids because I want to be a cool grandpa at some point. I'm selfish.
    Which, in turn, equals having a big ego lol

    Anyway, this has gone to a different topic. Let’s get the thread back on track.
    Quis89 likes this.
    02-02-2018 10:24 AM
  9. Annie_8plus's Avatar
    As I said before, I believe that it's the parent's responsibility... 100%! I also believe they need to lead by example.
    02-02-2018 10:58 AM
  10. reeneebob's Avatar
    This is an interesting perspective. I've never felt cool or better than anyone because I'm a parent. I've always seen it as such a common thing. Anyone can be a parent (adoption or natural) so I've never felt like my status as a parent allowed me to look down on anyone.

    What I don't particularly enjoy is someone without kids telling parents how they should be raising theirs. It's tough to critique parenting when one hasn't had to parent a child themselves. Even as a parent, I understand all children are different so I try not to criticize other parents for what works for them so long as the child is loved and cared for.
    I raised my brother and sister for 10 years, starting from when I was in grade 8 and they were 4 and 2, while my mother was sick with liver failure.

    Why do you presume someone who hasn’t HAD children hasn’t RAISED children before?

    It’s presumptions like that that I was talking about. It’s holier than thou.
    02-03-2018 07:19 PM
  11. Quis89's Avatar
    I raised my brother and sister for 10 years, starting from when I was in grade 8 and they were 4 and 2, while my mother was sick with liver failure.

    Why do you presume someone who hasn’t HAD children hasn’t RAISED children before?

    It’s presumptions like that that I was talking about. It’s holier than thou.
    I wasn’t making a statement directly at you, honestly. It was a general statement about people without children feeling the need to speak on those with children.

    And no offense but that honestly isn’t the same. I too, as an older sibling, cared for my two younger siblings through family emergencies and sickness. Never would I equate that to raising children. That’s in no way a slight to what you did as a child. Never would I do that. That’s not a holier than thou statement. It’s simply recognition of a difference in situations.

    It’s people who say things like that that honestly irritate me the most. Similar to when people with no kids say, “I have a pet so I know what it’s like”.
    Just_Me_D likes this.
    02-03-2018 10:41 PM
  12. BreakingKayfabe's Avatar
    It’s people who say things like that that honestly irritate me the most. Similar to when people with no kids say, “I have a pet so I know what it’s like”.
    I assume it’s the same lol
    scruffypig likes this.
    02-04-2018 02:57 AM
  13. reeneebob's Avatar
    I wasn’t making a statement directly at you, honestly. It was a general statement about people without children feeling the need to speak on those with children.

    And no offense but that honestly isn’t the same. I too, as an older sibling, cared for my two younger siblings through family emergencies and sickness. Never would I equate that to raising children. That’s in no way a slight to what you did as a child. Never would I do that. That’s not a holier than thou statement. It’s simply recognition of a difference in situations.

    It’s people who say things like that that honestly irritate me the most. Similar to when people with no kids say, “I have a pet so I know what it’s like”.
    So being the disciplinarian, working after high school to help pay bills, bathing them, cooking for them, helping with their homework, taking them to the doctor, doing everything except shooting them from my body myself isn’t raising them? This wasn’t an occasional illness or emergency like you implied. This was almost a decade as the de facto mother. The only thing I didn’t do was give birth to them.

    You’re right. Only people who’ve given birth could possibly have an opinion on raising children. Raising children you didn’t give birth to doesn’t count.

    Wow. Your whole post is pretty offensively dismissive. You don’t need to have a kid to know what good parenting is.
    TwitchyPuppy likes this.
    02-04-2018 09:33 PM
  14. Quis89's Avatar
    So being the disciplinarian, working after high school to help pay bills, bathing them, cooking for them, helping with their homework, taking them to the doctor, doing everything except shooting them from my body myself isn’t raising them? This wasn’t an occasional illness or emergency like you implied. This was almost a decade as the de facto mother. The only thing I didn’t do was give birth to them.

    You’re right. Only people who’ve given birth could possibly have an opinion on raising children. Raising children you didn’t give birth to doesn’t count.

    Wow. Your whole post is pretty offensively dismissive. You don’t need to have a kid to know what good parenting is.
    It’s obvious you’re not reading what I’m saying. In the post you responded to initially I mentioned adoption. So you attempting to twist my words by assuming I said only people who gave birth could have an opinion or raising children you didn’t give birth to doesn’t count is false. Simply reading my words would go a long way. Secondly, I also said “all kids are different”. I said that even I understand all kids are different and so I don’t criticize other parents even though I am one. YOU got defensive and assumed I was saying that YOU couldn’t have an opinion. Had you read what I said you’d see I never made that statement. Don’t get mad and offensive based on interpretations that YOU inaccurately made.

    I specifically said, “It’s tough to critique parenting when one hasn’t had to parent a child themselves”. If you believe what you did constitutes as parenting, great. I not once said YOU, Reeneebob, couldn’t critique anyone or so much as have an opinion...I said I’m not a fan of someone who hasn’t PARENTED a child critiquing other parents. Please...read....
    02-04-2018 10:42 PM
  15. Just_Me_D's Avatar
    Are we done? If not, don’t continue to reply in this thread unless you’re back on topic. There is no reason for this to become so personal. Be done with it!
    02-05-2018 08:26 PM
  16. kcox52692's Avatar
    Parents of course.
    Just_Me_D likes this.
    04-01-2018 07:37 PM
  17. pablomdelgado's Avatar
    Parents
    Just_Me_D likes this.
    04-06-2018 10:17 AM
  18. mariajanes's Avatar
    The parents should take this responsibility & take care of every activity that their kids are doing. If parents will assign chores to the kids then they can keep the kids busy in the allocated tasks. If it is related to "use of phone", then also there should be time limit. Tracking is also important to know what the kids are doin or watching on phone.
    07-13-2018 03:20 AM
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