Rumored reasons rumored Apple/Beats deal hasn't been rumored done

[iMore.com]

Why hasn't the rumored, rumored delayed, rumored still on, Apple/Beats unannounced acquisition not been announced yet? First, If that sounds a little meta or self-consuming, that's because it is. Second, everything from the ill-considered Gibson/Dre video to the complexities of the agreement to the alignment of the stars (not in the sky) seems to be on the list.