'Twas the Night Before Apple Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a Trackpad was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Steve Jobs soon would be here;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of iPads danced in their heads;
And mamma on her iPhone, and I on my Mac,
Had just settled down to play some online blackjack,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I tried to ignore it, what the heck does it matter?
I never cared for Windows, I no longer miss Flash,
I longed for an iPad; it?s got such panache.
It plays all the slide shows and youTubes with ease,
The apps are amazing, email is a breeze.
The retina display is really something to see.
The games are just awesome, the birds quite angry.
Surfing the web is but a piece of cake,
The touchscreen is super, I?ll never jailbreak.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, how the heck does he steer?
And then a little old driver, I could hardly believe,
But I knew in a moment it must be St. Steve.
More numerous than stars in the sky the apps came,
He whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Star Walk! now, Fruit Ninja! now, Netflix and Angry Birds!
On, Infinity Blade! on Pandora! on iBooks and Words!
To the top of the App Store! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
And then, in a twinkling, I heard at the store,
New apps were arriving, soon time to buy more.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Steve came with a bound.
He was dressed in old blue jeans and a black turtleneck,
His wire frames sparkled, his beard was gray-flecked;
A bundle of iOS devices were slung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
He was thin and wiry, a frail-looking elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
With a wink of my eye and a twist of my head,
I wished for an iPad, not a shiny new sled;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; could this be my perk?
And laying his finger on a touchscreen that glows,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew, like a dove, not a missile.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
APPLE CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!
?with apologies to Clement Clark Moore
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