Almost everything you said here was wrong.
1. " Screen aspect ratio, as the other guy mentioned. Most HD format is widescreen, so Android lets you use the entire screen for watching video, without cropping. If you watch a lot of movies, this could be a factor."
This is right but also very wrong. Motion pictures are not shot in 16:9 let alone 16:10. The huge huge majority of movies are shot in either 1.85:1 or 2.39:1. No matter what device you use those black letterbox bars will always be there. Even when watching a movie on a widescreen HD TV those bars are unavoidable. If we are talking TV shows then yes, those are almost all she in 16:9.
2. "The iPad Air 2 gets insane battery life. I charge it like twice a week and I use it daily. It is that good, and I don't know of anything on the Android side of the tablet world that can touch it.
. Stock Android has no split screen apps for realtime multitasking, no picture in picture for video content."
This is true but there is a reason for this which I will get to later because you actually listed it as a disadvantage.
3. "The iPad will have a lot less options than Android. The OS is not much different than it was in 2007. There is no real desktop environment, no widgets or real time data... just an old slab of icons that you can't really customize, that you can manually launch one at a time... If you care about widgets and live email, message, RSS feeds, weather, music, etc... iOS will leave you wanting. It requires you to determine what you want, go find the appropriate app and manually launch them one at a time."
Saying that iOS is not much different than it was in 2007 is ridiculous. As far as having a desktop environment, this paradigm is completely illogical in mobile and is a key reason for iOS's Today screen implementation of widgets.
Android widgets are only useful from the launcher. The whole point of the device is to get stuff done and not spend all your time looking at the launcher. iOS is designed to get you in and out of apps, Apple didn't want the launcher to be a destination because you can't actually do anything from the launcher apart from launch stuff. Its kind of the point. This is the reason that iOS accounts for 25-35% of all mobile devices but 80-90% of mobile web traffic, you're not sitting on your launcher staring at app icons, you're busy doing stuff.
iOS widgets DO in fact include all of your live email, message, RSS feeds, weather, music, etc information and are 10 x more useful for quick glance information since you can invoke the today screen from not only the app grid launcher but also from the lock screen and from within apps.
The widgets in iOS also serve a functional purpose as all widgets are tied to apps that you own and have installed on your device. Android widgets are often random web snippets masquerading as functional spaces when they don't in fact lead to any coinciding app or website where you can achieve anything or dive into a deeper resource of relevant information. ALL iOS widgets are windows into an app that actually does something.
iOS also offers all the same third party keyboards you can find on Android, has an almost identical app switcher for multitasking, a universal quick reply function for responding to texts from any app from anywhere in the system that Android can't touch, individualised app permissions (which Google is copying in Android M), dynamic wi-fi identification keys and discreet query in Safari so that wi-fi networks and Google can't track all of your app usage and browsing history, and control centre for access to quick settings toggles.
iOS on iPad now also offers full split view apps for true side by side multitasking and picture in picture for video content. Stock Android is yet to feature any such functionality. Not to mention the fact that developer support for the iPad blows away dev support for Android with apps that are designed specifically for the iPad, as opposed to the vast majority of Android tablet apps which are merely jumbo-sized phone apps with giant fonts and big empty wasted spaces that don't do anything. To call the iPad Air a glorified e-reader while declaring Android tablets tools for real work is absolute nonsense. Android tablets are for browsing Facebook and watching YouTube videos. iPads are in fact work tools. There is a reason why they account for 80-90% of corporate tablet deployments in the Fortune 500.
The only thing I can't do on my iOS devices, thankfully, is set Comic-Sans as a system wide font.
4. "There is no user file system. Each app has it's own sandbox. If you want a file to be opened in more than one app, you need more than one copy of that file, one for each app."
This is perhaps the most wrong thing you mentioned in your piece. Since iOS 8 the iOS file system is independent of any app. You DO NOT need multiple copies of the same file for different apps and despite being sandboxed all apps can speak to each other. I can edit photos using the toolkit of any photo editing app installed on my device without ever leaving my stock Photos app. All edits are non destructive, which means I never lose my original file and all apps that handle photos have access to that file and all of its delta edits.
Furthermore, as of iOS 9 you now also have an iCloud app where you can organise your files in a traditional file system hierarchy.
5. "No simple drag and drop USB functionality. An Advantage of Android is that it is universal, just plug it into a Windows, Linux or MacOS device and it pops up like a thumb drive. Drag and drop all day long, doesn't matter what type of file, no iTunes telling you that you can't transfer that file format, etc..."
It is true that you need to use iTunes to move files onto your iOS device via USB but iTunes does not limit what types of files you can move to your device. Also, I don't know anyone that actually does this anymore. I sometimes move my .mkv's into Infuse using USB because I'm dealing with 4-5GB files but apart from that I never have a need for the function, everything is in the cloud now. Pictures, videos, music, movies, etc... all automatic, all in the cloud.
6. "No expanded storage with Apple. You either couple up $100 more for an extra 32GB that cost apple less than $2 to include, or up your data plan and use cloud storage... Many Android devices have MicroSD slots which can be VERY useful for transporting large files, or housing an extensive multimedia library, installing extra apps, etc... Heck, with a $5 OTG cable I can just plug my 3TB external HD in to my phone or tablet and access it just like a PC would..."
You got this absolutely right. If you really want to, you can buy attachments to add an SD slot to your iPhone/iPad via the Lightning charger port but thats a bit fiddly. And I know that this isn't the case for everyone but I have an extensive library of movies and TV shows on my 3TB drive that I've never actually gone back to watch. Eventually you've downloaded so much crap that you just forget all about it and suddenly that 3TB drive that you needed so desperately sits in a drawer collecting dust.
I mostly download, watch, delete. And for almost all intents and purposes, Netflix is my library. I think this is a way overplayed Android advantage that doesn't actually get used anywhere near as much as people like to claim, which is why a lot of Android OEM's are no longer providing expandable storage.
7. "More customization with Android, if that matters to you. There is NONE on Apple devices."
Beating a dead horse here. Refer back to point 3. If Comic-Sans is your thing than by all means.
8. "Apple puts the absolute minimum amount of RAM into their devices as part of their "planned obsolescence" marketing strategy... I had an iPad Mini 2 Retina and had to return it, the 1GB of RAM, not seen in Android in several years, was completely inadequate. Sluggish, constant page reloads when browsing, it just didn't have enough RAM, and as a result the newer features like split screen and multitasking, wouldn't work on it... so that is how they get you to upgrade..."
Apple's A series SoC's are miles ahead of any other ARM based chipsets. The latest A series SoC's on 2GB RAM have been demonstrated to outperform competing SoC's running on 3-4GB RAM. But I will concede that page reloads were a major pain in the a$$ before the most recent upgrades to 2GB RAM. But the low RAM inclusions were not planned obsolescence that Apple conspiracy theorists like to talk about. My 24 inch iMac is 8 years old and still runs smooth as the day I bought it, not exactly a sound obsolescence strategy.
The low RAM inclusions, made possible by the A series SoC, are actually part of a huge competitive advantage over competing devices. You mentioned it yourself earlier. Battery life. There is a reason Android can't keep up with iPads in battery life, and it all boils down to the A series SoC's and iOS's low RAM demands.
But as these devices have become more powerful, the RAM demands have increased. This is why Apple no longer does its famous "extra battery life in the latest release" plug at launch events, its now just able to get enough extra juice to cater for the extra RAM in newer releases. Advances in battery tech are lagging.
Also, you complain about not being able to do side by side multitasking on the old iPad Mini. As I stated earlier, stock Android doesn't offer ANY side by side multitasking whatsoever. I know Samsung has included some multitasking functionality in there tablets, but just as with almost all TouchWiz based feature extensions its unreliable and its implementation is pretty clunky
I can't think of a single feature that current Android has over current iOS apart from customisation of control centre toggles. Seriously, that's it. You can't change system fonts, create empty spaces between app icons or customise app icons but I'm not a 13 year old kid who needs to turn my device into a Hello Kitty collage. I was an iPhone 4 user who switched to Android 4.0 and the Galaxy Nexus when I grew sick of the limitations of iOS several years ago. I switched back to iOS last year with the iPhone 6 Plus and was happy to find that iOS was a completely different OS to the one that I abandoned in 2011. Feature-wise, the two OS's are very close. But, and this is the reason I went back to iOS to begin with, security wise, Android is a horrible horrible platform.