Are you sure you owned a ps3? Because based on your experience it sounds like you didn't.
-If you played many of the games on ps3 that had an online element to them you would have known that Sony used dedicated servers for their games more than the p2p system that Xbox live uses with most of their multiplayer games(which is weird considering that they charged so much for live gold). Peer to peer is way less reliable and it often depended on the host's internet connection for a decent online session.
-Yes, the chat functionality(party chat) was missing last gen with sony's ps3 and they have explained why it was(because of memory limitations), but that has indeed been rectified with the massive upgrade in hardware with the ps4(finally party chat, cross game chat, universal invites, etc!).
-Exclusives? Ok. This can be subject to ones taste in games and genres, but last gen Sony has proven objectively to have more variety and overall better scoring exclusives. Microsoft literally has maybe 4-5 system exclusives(Halo series, gears series, fable series, fora series) that really impacted the console. Sony on the other hand has had many exclusives(Warhawk, heavenly sword, folklore, resistance fall of man series, the uncharted series, the infamous series, the killzone series, the last of us, the god of war series, gran turismo series, starhawk, the tales RPGs, kingdom hearts series, playstation allstars, Ni no Kuni, the motorstorm series, etc. also the superior D-pad led me to play the fighting game genre on ps3 over my 360) and some underrated, but given great reviews and replay value.
-Xbox live arcade is great, but haven't you seen the psn titles? The pixel junk series, journey, echo chrome, wipeout hd, pain, super stardust hd, fat princess, crash commando, etc Not to mention all the ps one classics you can download. All given exceptional reviews by the critics. I've only named a few, but Xbox live arcade being staggeringly larger is an exaggeration. You really make it sound like you never even had a ps3.
- I don't currently own an Xbox one so I can't say too much on the dashboard, but from friends who have the one and from videos I've seen of the dashboard, it certainly seems less intuitive and way more confusing than the ps4's dynamic ui. Also, the tv functionality seems cool, but it seems to compromise other functionality on current home theater setups such as the lack of dvr functionality for recording tv or deeper integration with a cable box's menus. Another words I would still have to go back to using the remotes for my home theater system and cable box to still have everything function properly. It just seems kind of half baked. As it stands now, I myself can't justify spending $100 more for a system that in my mind offers significantly less. I want one and will eventually get one, but price has to change as well as some other things for me to make the jump. The Xbox one doesn't even offer live broadcasting to twitch and won't offer it until next year. That's funny considering that Microsoft was the one to advertise it at their reveal earlier this year as an exclusive to the Xbox one and yet the ps4 at launch has both twitch live broadcasting and ustream. Don't get me wrong, I am a gamer at heart and like I said, I will eventually have both, but I chose the ps4 first and am enjoying every bit of it! It just makes more sense to go with the ps4 in my mind. Sony seems more gamer oriented than Microsoft does with their Xbox one. I may actually get an Xbox one when Titanfall comes out, but the way that EA is talking titanfall won't stay exclusive to the Xbox one, not to mention I could in fact get it on a PC and use the ps4 controller to play it!