The thing is, you're not a complete idiot, but don't ask for help when a) you're not prepared to spend the time it takes to fix these issues. The old rule "never expect ti sit in frot of a computer for 15 minutes to troubleshoot" applies... And b) Why bother asking for help if you're going to ignore the answers and do what you want anyway?
I'm not complaining at all, but if I'm telling you how to fix something from point a to b, it may seem like a long time to you, but it IS the fastest method.
Restoring your phone as new is the faster way to remove ANY major problem. That restore should literally take less than 15 minutes, and it will erase any "damage" done to the phone. These things are extremely hard to actually brick.
Now, please just try to follow the small tutorial that I posted before, step by step. Just at the end of it, since you're setting up the phone as new, you'll have to re-sync your stuff back onto your iPhone. That's it.
There's no mystery hun.
And I apologize if I offended you, my prior comments may have been a bit harsh. All apologies.