Contest: Make your own Chad rant!

[Georgia]

As any of our podcast listeners know, there's nothing Chad likes better than to get off on a good rant. But this time something has gone tragically wrong -- Chad was frozen mid-rant! Either his headphone Droid'ed, his antenna attuned, or he ducked out for a Lost finale, but any which way you slice it Chad's on hold and we need your help to rant!

Come up with your best, most entertaining, most enlightening, most over-the-top Chad rant and post it in a reply below.

If we choose your rant, Chad will read it live during a podcast and we'll post it up on the front page in the show notes. As a thank you, you'll get your choice of Talon Hard Shell Case for iPhone 4, either plain (http://store.tipb.com/talon-hard-shell-case/4A123A7222.htm) or artsy (http://store.tipb.com/talon-hard-shell-case/4A123A7339.htm).

(Thanks to cyaaa50, our first contest contest winner -- he'll be receiving the same prize! Want to double your chances of winning, enter your contest idea now!)

 

[JNGold]

You Darn Jailbreakers! Get off my Lawn! You people are the reason my hero Steve Jobs has sleepless nights worrying about unauthorized devices on corporate networks! Argh!!!!!

 

[dorthensensens]

Rant

And that's why apple suppositories are the best on th market. No one makes them better than apple. They are customer driven and cater to the high end suppository market.

 

[Bronson15]

During iPad live... "I think that the iPhone 4 outsmarts Andriods anyday!" says Chad... "CHAD! This is IPAD LIVE not iPhone!" says Rene

 

[BeyondtheTech]

People taking phone sex to "the next level" with FaceTime? Give me a break! With one arm extended and holding your iPhone, you've got to pan around to your naughty bits, but then you can't see what the person on the other end is doing! Then when it's gets all hot and steamy and you're at "that moment," do you really want to show your mate a sexy face like this?

 

[Robert Waldroup]

Gotta be joking!

You Darn Jailbreakers! Get off my Lawn! You people are the reason my hero Steve Jobs has sleepless nights worrying about unauthorized devices on corporate networks! Argh!!!!!

The only thing steve jobs worries about is getting a sweet new paintjob for his helicopter that takes him to his pixar office. And of course I'm sure he worries about the overall success of his tech, and may be bothered by jailbreakers, but that's only cause they're eating his bottom line.

 

[TrevMoore]

Look, I've already preordered my 7" iPad, and I don't care what anyone else thinks. It has to be the perfect device for me in all aspects. Sometimes the iPad is really just too big for everyday normal use. I like the fact that is light and comes with a bag of pixie dust. What other company would include pixie dust with their tablet? Don't EVEN tell me that Google and Adobe have "OPEN" pixie dust they are coming out with.. They are so disingenuous.

The 7" iPad gives me excellent multimedia viewing pleasure with one hand available. I can munch on my burrito and watch a youtube video in comfort. I can hold my jar of Diet Pepsi and take sips at ease. Heck, I even duct tape it to my back while I'm running so that drivers can see my scrolling LED sign.

I think that this device is going to be an amazing hit. Everyone who says they aren't going to buy it are going to buy it as soon as it comes out. There is not even a question in my mind.. But even if they don't buy it right away, I'm going to feel awesomely swell carrying my iPhone, iPad, and iPad Jr. with me everywhere.

 

[dandbj13]

My Rant: Objectivity is the new codeword for anti-Apple

Pick your favorite tech pundit, reporter, or blogger, Choose any one you like, male or female, gay, straight, or transgendered. Due to either peer pressure or deep seeded beliefs, almost all are succumbing to the new definition of objectivity when it comes to reporting on Apple. These days, it is nearly impossible to find a story about an Apple product that lavishes unabashed praise, no matter how much it might actually deserve it. Every product must get points taken off for imaginary missing features such as no BlueRay or HDMI 1080P out. The magic mouse and magic trackpad are great except they don't have twelve programable buttons and a dedicated D-pad. You get the idea.

The reason for this is that people in the media have become afraid of being labeled "fans" of Apple. Somehow, though, it is OK to be a fan of Google, MS, RIM, Palm, HTC, HP, and any other company that competes directly with Apple. If you listen to the pundits, the Zune HD is the best media player of all time. The Palm Pre and webOS rule when it comes to innovation. The Droid-gasms one regularly hears from personalities like Molly Wood and Leo Laporte make it abundantly clear that the new definition of objectivity only applies to Apple.

This type of bias is demonstrated in a number of ways. Some hosts of popular podcasts tend to apologize for mentioning Apple related stories, as if they wish they didn't have to do it, but they had no choice. These types of apologies do not take place when talking about Google, which dominates at least as many news cycles. Other personalities have been outed as Apple product users. Whenever this happens, they feel the need to justify their use of the device. It usually involves them claiming that it is their job to try all products in the category. There is often some lame excuse that dismisses their use of the product as being strictly utilitarian, rather than just saying they love the product. That would be biased.

Still others, when talking about a product category dominated by Apple, try to pretend that the playing field is really even among all competitors. This is often manifested by mentioning other products in the same breath as the iPhone, iPad, or other dominant Apple products. They might say something like, "A new player in the high-end smartphone game will have to step up its user experience to compete with the unmatched experience of products such as the iPhone, Droid, and Pre." Clearly, the iPhone leads this, and many other categories. But it would not be "objective" to mention the iPhone without including others. It is a way of pretending that the iPhone actually has competition.

Even sales figures get fudged in the name of objectivity. In order to project the idea that the competitive field is equal, pundits pretend that other phones are just as popular as the iPhone. Absurd! They suggest that Android is outselling the iPhone by grouping the sales of 60+ handsets, and comparing them to iPhone sales. They pretend that Android is a phone, not an OS. They pretend that an Android phone selling out after 100,000 sales in the first weekend is the equivalent of the iPhone selling out after 2M in the same timeframe. They pretend that Android, and others, being "sold" as free phones with rebates, bogof, and free with contract offers are remotely equivalent to Apple selling every unit it makes at full MSRP for the life of the product.

All of these things are done in the interest of objectivity. It keeps them from saying that Apple has innovated paradigm shifting products and business models, and stands alone as the leader for which everyone else must follow. That wouldn't be very "objective", so they have to pretend that everyone else is roughly the same.

Many do this because of peer pressure. Others do it to hide a deep seeded hatred of all things Apple. Either way, it is now unacceptable to speak favorably about Apple without heavy caveats. One must always find the dark side to every Apple silver lining. And one must always mention an Apple competitor to balance out any good news from Apple. I'm sick and tired of it. How about you?

On a positive note, I love me some Chad G, who is not afraid to speak up with what he really thinks, rather than being afraid of the fanboy label. If being objective means you have to find a way to disparage Apple, even when they don't deserve it, then I am down with a little bias.

David Johnson