this was NOT a Microsoft "windows update". it was a Crowdstrike update.
the fact that Microsoft has gotten most of the blame for this is WILD to me.
Editing my post to add some more information in case anyone is curious in the actual facts.
it's called Falcon, it's an AI security platform by crowd strike.
Cybersecurity’s AI-native platform for the XDR era: Stop breaches, reduce complexity, and lower total cost with a single platform, console, and agent.
www.crowdstrike.com
So basically, any Windows computer that has this crowd strike CLIENT installed on it and is enrolled in this Security platform are the ones that got this outage. it has literally 0% to do with Microsoft and windows updates, ZERO.
Someone at Crowdstrike pushed out some patch or F'd up basically.