I'm with both of you. Best solution is:
a) Adobe actually makes a non-bloated, relatively secure Flash engine for OS X -- with privacy-invading Flash cookies *easily* disabled via obvious switch.
b) Apple creates plugin that redirects to player, similar to QuickTime plugin or YouTube player, so it's nicely sandboxed and useful for video, but not the often unnecessary bloated web sites and punch the monkey adds.
Or, Adobe actually makes that "just right" player between Flash Lite and Flash (full desktop) that Jobs quipped was lacking...