The AirPods going to be disappearing and then $160 will be reappearing in their place. That'll be 'magical'.
I have considered they're defective, and I'm not certain that I'm enamored with them enough after this experience to get a replacement set.
I do have a quick favor for people who do have working AirPods though. Can you please check your serial number on Apple's serial number page,
https://checkcoverage.apple.com/ and see if it shows up as a good device? I did talk with someone on Apple's support website and the serial number wouldn't show up on his systems, nor on that screen. I don't think Best Buy would get counterfeit AirPods from suppliers, but having the support person surprised the serial number wasn't in the system makes me wonder.