My girlfriend left me!
I need the juicepack because my girlfriend left me. Now before you say, "that's not a valid reason," hear me out.
2 weeks ago my girlfriend left me for this jerk she use to date in highschool. When she left she took most all my money, duct taped me to the bed, and booby trapped the house. When I got up that morning, I couldn't actually get up... Anyway, luckily she forgot about the knife that I keep in the bedside table so I was able to cut myself free.
When I finally got out of bed and went downstairs I found, rather painfully, that the tile was covered in something very slippery. As I stepped off the bottom step I slipped, falling over backwards, and hit my head.
The fall knocked me out for at least 10 minutes. When I awoke I found that I was bleeding, quite profusely, out of the back of my head. Luck for me I was in shock and couldn't really feel it.
I called up an ambulance and hitched a ride to the hospital where I received 15 stitches. Besides the stitches I also had a wonderful patch of skin showing on the back of my head where they had to shave the hair before they could stitch me up.
The bill I received in the mail soon after was astronomical! And that, mixed with the fact that I had virtually no more money, a slight memory issue due to the fall, and no job put me on the street. My only form of entertainment/technology, my iPhone. Now of course it doesn't have service anymore, but my neighbors have Wi-Fi that I can use along with almost everyone else in my part of San Francisco.
Because of my lack of a home, and therefore my lack of utilities (such as electricity) I need all the battery life I can get. I get a full charge about once every 4 or 5 days as I siphon off some of my old neighbors power.
So why do I need the JuicePack? There is your answer.