They say itís the little things in life that matter. For me, the little things are the big things in my life. At least a couple of them are. Writing and music in particular. They connect me to a place beyond words, a place where I can channel. My writings are essentially trains of thought, I very rarely think about what Iím going to write. I have an idea of what I want to write about and then I sit down and start writing, or more accurately typing. There is a great amazement to me to be able to sit there and watch the words flow up onto the screen as I think them. It amazes me because I cannot do the same thing with speaking. My writings are much more true to what Iím really thinking and feeling than my spoken words can ever be.
Now I donít just write things for forums or to have a post on my blog. I write mainly for myself. A few poems here and there, but mostly lyrics. I currently have enough lyrics for four complete albums and about half of another. And even more astonishing to me is noticing the trend in my lyrics, where those arenít just based off of number of songs, but those albums are also four complete concept albums. It seems my mind has drifted these four ideas more than any other when it comes to my lyrics. Even though I write lyrics, a lot of them in fact, I still stand by what I tell others and that is that music doesnít need lyrics. It doesnít need vocals, music in of itself is far more expressive than any amount of words and by putting words to music you severely limit what a person can get out of that music.
So why do I write lyrics? Because I do want to limit what you can get out of my songs, I want to get a specific point across even if you get another point entirely. Like many musicians, the goal isnít to get you to understand what the songs are about, the goal is to write a song for me, that is meaningful to me. But I do try to write my lyrics more vague, they are specific to me but hopefully vague enough to be specific to you as well. And I donít just write lyrics, I am also a guitarist, Iíve been playing now for eight years. Iím completely self-taught though I have been thinking about lessons for some time.
I write music much the same as I do my words. I channel. I sit there with my guitar and I start playing around until something catches my ear and I work from there. I donít care about timing, about scales, not at this point, I care only about taking what caught my ear and transforming it into something I like. Then I can mess around with it and make it more musically ďcorrect?Ē I donít just channel the music flow; I also channel my emotions and thoughts into my music. Now this isnít always an option immediately, especially if Iím angry. First I must listen to music to soothe the mind to a point I can play it out. Or write it out.
I usually fall short of any sense of ability to explain even in the most bastardized of ways, what music means to me, what music does to meÖwhat music does for me. It is something far beyond what words can explain, almost beyond human perception. It takes me away; it carries me on a journey of emotion and imagination. It heals me, it fuels me, itís a source of constant inspiration and motivation. Itís completely transcendent; making me realize how short life is, making me realize what can be done, making me realize what we are, what we can do, and more than that, it roots me to reality and nostalgia. Calling up memories of days past, calling up the reason for everything, for why Iím here, for why Iíve fought, for continuing on to achieve my dreams.
Everybody has that something, that something small that is actually something big. Writing and music are such conduits for me that they exhaust me. Not for skill or difficulty, but for the shear amount of myself I channel into everything I write and play. I can only hope that everyone is able to recognize what their thing is, and remember to never, everÖever let it go. Everybody needs to have that passion in their life, even if it never amounts to wealth generating career. All it needs to be is a staple in your life, when you realize what your thing is, you also know itís what you were born to do. Even if youíve never been able to quite put your finger on why it meant so much to you, itís because thatís your passion, thatís your life, thatís why youíre here. Donít ever let that go.