Is my husband cheating--please HELP!!!

[sugar04]

This past Saturday night, while on a romantic night away, my husband received 2 subsequent text message alerts at 4am, and then when I checked it, primarily because we left our 3 little kids at home for the first time, I couldn't find anything. When I asked him about it, he said he saw nothing and it must have been my phone. His phone has done this before in the middle of the night, and I noticed he did not bring it upstairs last night. I tried to take a peek at it and could not see anything. He has also been complaining about his battery life being so short lately. I wonder if he has jailbroken it to hide sms, but I have no idea how to check this out---PLEASE HELP.
THANK YOU

 

[Slyfi]

ok quick question,

did you hear the text tone or did it vibrate twice with about 2 seconds in between?

 

[The_New_Dude#IM]

Tell him ur interested in a 3some and see how quickily he suggests someone....



My 2 cents!

 

[sugar04]

heard the text tone. Nothing in preview and nothing in his messages folder.

 

[sugar04]

thanks The_New_Dude...

 

[sugar04]

this is upsetting for me, please serious replies only

 

[Slyfi]

some apps use the text tone (i imagine its the tri tone one), but they would show a notification, but that wouldn't show up in messages

 

[BLiNK]

please tell me there are other reasons than this you are having doubts in your relationship...

 

[VagrantHarmonist]

Well for one, you can check if an app called cydia is anywhere on his homescreens or in a folder and if it is, then he's definitely jailbroken. I don't recall any app that hides text messages...but if it is jailbroken, it could be a weird glitch in an app he does have because I've heard my phone make an alert once or twice randomly for no reason. I hope he's not cheating but, to be certain, you can check those signs if you are truly concerned.

 

[sugar04]

BLiNK...you know we have a generally WONDERFUL relationship (married 7 years). THe last two years have been very difficult with 2 children being born with severe illness...right after our last family vacation he started an argument saying he needed a break and stayed the night away at a friend's house and then there have been other SMALL inconsistencies lately. Daughter hurt herself badly and had to get in touch with him and story changed about why he did not answer phone for an hour (first out of range, then it was dead, and told me he had 13 missed calls in the hour)etc. I have never doubted him before and love him and PRAY I am wrong! Just feels wrong. Too many inconsistencies lately.

 

[sugar04]

SLyfi, it would show a notification....hmmm I did not see anything at all and he even said, well there is nothing. He is generally very stingy about sharing his phone and has been even more so lately.
HMMMM

 

[sugar04]

Sorry for so many posts I am new to this SLyfi, where would I find it if he had received a 'hidden' message that was not on his messages?

 

[The_New_Dude#IM]

Well messages can be deleted. It takes a few seconds to delete the message after you have read it.

I hate to put more doubt in your mind, but I'm just stating what's possible.

 

[sugar04]

I appreciate that it can be deleted, but he was sleeping and did not even hear it. We had a couple of drinks together so he was out. I heard them and was the first one to check. He did not even hear me check, so I don't think that is viable. Thanks so much for the suggestion.

 

[The_New_Dude#IM]

In that case I wouldn't doubt him for the sake of doubting him.
He's your husband, give him your trust.

Don't doubt him unless you have something concrete to go on. You will be much happier in the long run.

 

[sugar04]

Is it normal for the iphone 3gs to just alert of text messages in the middle of the night and there be nothing? Twice Sat night and once before. I feel awful doubting him, but don't want to be stupid either. He has been a wonderful husband and we had a great weekend together, but as I mentioned there have been some unusual inconsistencies lately for sure.

 

[The_New_Dude#IM]

Sometimes guys do it just cause they don't think you will accept what they are really doing....

I've told my GF that i'm at work before when I was really out having a pint with my Boys. Just cause she might feel bad that I'm out with the boys and not with her.... Just giving you an example.

You said you have kids. Maybe he just needed some quiet time away from everyone and made something up to tell you.

And if he IS cheating and doing such a good job of hiding the text messages etc, I'm sure he would've taken the last step and made sure the message tone would've been disabled too.... My take on it...

 

[Slyfi]

@sugar what i was saying is it might have been an app sending a notification that would sound like a text message

the facebook app does it

 

[sugar04]

I appreciate that---he really is wonderful. The night our daughter hurt herself (she's 2, had to rush her to emerg--didn't want to bring the 4 year old and 10 month old). HE was going for a beer with his friends after work (often works late), so I assumed he would still be at work. I called a million times panicked and it would ring and then I would get his voicemail after several rings. He told me he was out of range. Then a month later, he told me he was at a certain job site as we drove past (DEFINITELY IN RANGE) and then told me again about it that his battery was dead out of the blue when I asked about the text messages. I did not doubt him when our daughter hurt herself---

My take is that he forgot to turn the message tone off because he had had a couple of drinks??? I notice that his phone has been on vibrate since.

I SOOO hope I am wrong--we have a good life together.

 

[The_New_Dude#IM]

Yeah I really don't think he's cheating on you. If he was cheating on you he'd be volunteering to take out the trash, do dishes, change the kids, etc, ALL the time.

I think you have had a few incidents that are just making you think that. Which can be justifiable, but don't let those things get the better of you.

In most of your posts you have said that you two have a good life together. Don't doubt it. He has no reason to stray!