ok, think i found the source of my frustration. when i wiped it and re-downloaded the iOS the baseband must have updated.
I redirected the itunes server to be able to re-install 4.0.1, but now it has a baseband of 05.14.02. apparently this breaks the unlock, but still gave the ability to re-jailbreak.
i tried fuzzyband, but the bootloader version isn't supported by it yet.
i was able to confirm this by using the t-mobile sim in another jailbroke/unlocked 3g.
soooo, new question set. will fuzzyband eventually support this new baseband, or will the upcoming 4.1 hack be able to unlock it????
i'm going to google those questions now, but if anyone knows off the top of their heads.