being tracked by despotic parents...
hello everyone. I'm a 17-year-old who will be turning 18 in about half a year. I thought my parents had bought me a new 3gs iphone out of love and compassion, but it turns out that the only reason they bought it for me was for its tracking capabilities, which they have forced me to use if I want to go anywhere. My parents are very distrustful of me despite the fact that I do absolutely nothing wrong. I get good grades in school, and I don't do anything really stupid. I will say that I do occasionally smoke pot, but who honestly gives a ****? I live in california... It will be legal for me anyway once I get a medical marijuana card... so anyway, my parents picked out a variety of tracking apps for my (jailbroken) phone that they wanted me to install... I was just wondering if any of you guys knew of a way to circumvent this **** by giving fake coordinates or something. I want to be able to see my friends without my invasive parents ruining my summer. I've done a bit of investigating myself and found that google latitude seems to offer the best privacy since it allows you to spoof your location, but the problem is that they will most likely want to be able to see my location on a map without me sharing anything. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
- 07-08-2010, 07:42 PM #2
Get a job, get your own phone and pay your own
bill. If not, then nothing we can do to help you
out with that bro.
Another thing that actually made me chuckle...
your name is "Dank Swede" and you occasionally
smoke pot? Sounds like a little (lot) more
than occasionally to me. Lol.
- 07-08-2010, 09:14 PM #3
- 07-08-2010, 10:39 PM #4
- 07-08-2010, 10:46 PM #5
- 07-08-2010, 10:57 PM #6
- 07-08-2010, 11:01 PM #7
- 07-08-2010, 11:30 PM #8
Your problem is not technological but "the human condition."
I am the oldest of twelve children. We are all still alive save for my brother, next to the baby, brilliant and charming, who died of a drug over-dose. When my mother was asked what if felt like to bury a child, she said, "Well we never did really expect them all to grow up." Of course, that was why there were 12 of us. In a world in which most parents have only two or three children, they are far more anxious about each child than the parents of my generation.
It seems that you and your parents were both wrong. They "thought" that you would appreciate both their generosity and their anxiety when you are out of their protection. However little or much they trust you, the world is a dangerous place. By having you, they have given a hostage to fortune.
Not to worry. Yours is a problem that time will inevitably solve. All too soon, you will outlive both their generosity and their protection. What goes around comes around. Much sooner than you think, you may be a parent. You will promise yourself that you will be the parent that you wanted, rather then the one that you had. You will have lied. Your generation is likely to be even more anxious and protective than your parents. You will implant a chip in your infant that will allow you to track and observe him without his cooperation or even his knowledge.
In the meantime, just for a few more months, I can give you, and you can take, no better advice than to not go anywhere that you would not want your parents to know about.
- 07-09-2010, 12:16 AM #9
As the parent of a 17 (soon to be 18) year old boy I can say that what concerned me was your statement that you "do absolutely nothing wrong"... and then you choose to try and hide where you are going. If you're doing nothing wrong then why do you care if your parents know where you are? My son and I have a very open deal... he tells me where he's going and who he's with. He comes home at a decent hour and he helps me around the house. As long as those things continue I give him no hassles. He has proven over and over again that he can be trusted. Perhaps you should try talking to your parents instead of assuming that they are trying to ruin your summer. Be honest with them and trust them the same way you want them to trust you. You might be surprised.
- 07-09-2010, 07:39 AM #10
There really is more sympathy for you here than you might think. We all remember being seventeen and wishing that we were already twenty-one. We lived and we learned. That is why we are giving you the advice that you need rather than the advice that you asked for.
"if you would be happy, count your blessings and give of your bounty."
- 07-09-2010, 09:20 AM #11
- 07-09-2010, 09:49 AM #12
Being a parent of teenagers- if they are feeling like they need to check on you then they do! I agree with Duvi! When you are an adult and paying your own way then you will understand their concern. And if you're trying to hide where you are then I would have to ask myself where are you that they would be so horrified about if you are indeed "doing nothing wrong" we don't tend to hide - nothing wrong-!
Be thankful you have an iPhone and more importantly parents that give a crap! That's becoming increasingly rare. You WILL be thankful one day that they put the time, money, love and patience into raising you. Spending your time and intellect on trying to skirt them is a waste- put that time and intellect into something that will help you and your future so you can have a career that will allow you to buy your own kid things like iPhones when it's your turn to worry.
- 07-09-2010, 05:06 PM #13
However, I am reminded of Ben Bradlee, editor of the Washington Post during Watergate and father of eight. Ben reported that when his children were making choices that he liked, he was generous. When they were not, he simply ran out of money. If they asked for it, he just reported that he did not have any at the moment. He reports that they were smart enough to "game the system" and that after a while it became a joke.
Perhaps this young man's parents were too generous too soon. What do you think?
ok as for the messages on this board... I mean no disrespect to those who are sincerely trying to help me find a solution for this tracking dilemma, but we have a fundamental disagreement on what is ok here... Am I truly the bad person for believing that it's not ok to spy on your own kid like this? I have never caused any problems for anyone, including my parents, yet they are irrationally paranoid, and have consequently violated my rights without my consent.... and don't give me the bull**** about not accepting the phone... I don't have a choice whether I want to keep it.... why don't you try to see this from another person's perspective instead of being so damn thick headed? and as for the person who is assuming I'm a drug addict, well... You're just an ignorant brainwashed imbecile who blindly believes whatever the government tells you about certain substances... it is not cannabis that ruins lives... it is the idiots who abuse it. Now, I don't think any of you can say I have a significant problem when I have high grades and test scores (ACT of 29 and SAT of 2000), I run varsity for my track team, I tutor and do community service... think what you want... I am indifferent of your stupid and unfounded opinions if you have absolutely nothing better to do than insult me, so even if you're a parent, you should actually think before you speak and stop being such a bigot. If anything, it just amplifies your crappy qualifications as a parent. As for my question, is there no way to spoof my coordinates at all?
Last edited by Dank Swede; 07-09-2010 at 06:59 PM.
- 07-09-2010, 06:54 PM #15
oh... there isn't hu?
that's funny, because I think you're actually incorrect and you made a superficially incorrect statement which makes me somewhat question your credibility. I found an app that spoofs my coordinates. Problem solved, no thanks to many of this forum's intolerantly ****ty parent members and narrow-minded bigots. Thank you for your help, or lack thereof . Have fun trolling people who are actually trying to get information and good luck getting out of the void that is your own ignorance.
(thank you to some of you though... I appreciate the politeness from a few of you... many of the people on the first page of this post are just plain rude, and it is directed more towards them)
Last edited by Dank Swede; 07-09-2010 at 07:23 PM.
- 07-10-2010, 11:33 AM #17
- 07-10-2010, 12:16 PM #18
Specifically to your question: I think that the thread is clear that few here would endorse a parent invading the privacy of a seventeen year-old. We simply do not get to that issue. Rather, it is a question of ethics, what does a teenager owe his parents in return for their nurture, generosity, and protection.
Admittedly, many, not to say, most, of us are projecting our life experience onto the case and testimony as presented. Your parents are not here to defend themselves or advocate their position. We have your testimony and our own experience to tell us that your parents might be invading your space and attempting to exercise unnecessary, not to say, inappropriate, control. Certainly if a a child of mine had the record that you claim, I would be prepared to cut them a lot of slack.
We grant you all that and still we do not come down on your side. The issue is not whether or not you have justice on your side but whether or not you have chosen properly, and have a unilateral right to, fraud and deceit as your remedy. As a matter of ethics, we are not ready to endorse deceit. Without claiming that fraud and deceit are never justified, one may claim that the burden of proof that they are justified in a particular case is very high; I suggest you have not met it. In fact, I suggest that you propose to lie when the truth would serve.
- 07-10-2010, 12:26 PM #19
- 07-10-2010, 04:27 PM #20
It occurs to me that this young person does not see what he proposes as a fraud perpetrated against his parents. Rather he sees it as a morally neutral use of technology. For a number of years, I read computer ethics papers for a colleague who taught at a prestigious mid-western Catholic university. One observation of the readers was that young people do "outcomes based" ethical analysis. Using a god's-eye view, they fantasize a result and prescribe whatever behavior is necessary from all parties in order to bring about the result that they want. Even if they can, they do not seem to look at the options available to each participant and evaluate the ethics of each option.
Another observation was what we came to call "PacMan Ethics." This is a view of the world as a closed single-player system in which the rules of the game are implicit rather than explicit. In such a game, the rules are automagically enforced. One learns them from playing the game. [My godson could draw an audience three deep to watch him play while standing on a chair. By one estimate, one had to play about forty games to master Pac-Man; said another way, $10-.] If the game will permit it, it is within the rules, legal, morally neutral, ethical.
What we have here is a young person prepared to use technology to tell his parents a lie that he would likely not tell them to their faces. He does not see the two ways of deceiving as morally equivalent. He does not see it as a violation of trust and filial duty. He chides us for not giving him a simple technical answer for his query. However, he did not ask us for a simple answer. He put his motive and intent before us to judge. Would we have asked what he intended to do with the knowledge that he requested if he had not volunteered it? I think not. I think at some level he was asking for validation.
I hope that he lives up to the image that he would like us to have of him.
Last edited by whmurray; 07-10-2010 at 05:29 PM.
- 07-10-2010, 04:50 PM #21
- 07-10-2010, 06:58 PM #22
I'd say you're better off working with your parents than against them. If you've truly got nothing to hide, it should be quite easy
- 07-12-2010, 09:58 AM #23
- 07-12-2010, 02:00 PM #24
- 07-12-2010, 03:53 PM #25iPhone Newbie
- 29 Posts
Your problem is that you are still legally a minor, under the jurisdiction of your parents, and you are actively pursuing lying to them about where you are, and admitting to using illegal drugs. Parents have every right to know where their minor children are and what they are up to. They have the right to set conditions on your liberty. Notwithstanding your good grades and other "good behavior", your admitted pot use and intent to deceive more than justifies your parent's concern.
By the way, "despot" comes from a word meaning "master of the house", and is a totally appropriate adjective to apply to one's father while living at home. If you don't like Dad's rules, you don't actually have much choice in the matter until you're legally of age. Then, you can choose to remain at home, following the rules of the house, or you can become your own despot and move out, paying your own way, and dealing with life on your own merits. In the meantime, I'd recommend you take steps to convince Mom and Dad that you ARE trustworthy and mature (in all ways, including forgoing so-called "recreational" drugs/aka "gateway" drugs, and being open and honest about where you're going and what you're doing)...
And yeah, I'm the Dad of two fine young men who are now in their 20s. You don't like my rules? Feel free to move out. Convince me you're mature and trustworthy, and my rules for you won't be much different than my rules for me... But you can't disregard the rules and expect to have me continue to subsidize your living expenses, provide a roof over your head, and put food in front of you.