TiPb Birthday Bash: Quickoffice Mobile Suite Give Away

[WatersWest]

Apple is going to . . . give us BOTH what we wanted all along! For you, Rene, Apple is going to introduce the iPhone HD! For me, I heard that Apple is going to give me a front-facing slide-out QWERTY keyboard a-la Pre! Additionally, if I start typing on the QWERTY keyboard from the home screen, it will automatically jump into the Spotlight search!

Rene: "Dieter, that's fantastic! iPhone HD!! It is just as I predicted back in October!"

Dieter: "Rene, did you not LISTEN to me. HD is fine and all that, but I finally have the 1 phone to rule them ALL. Front-facing QWERTY keyboard, and it auto-magically jumps into a spotlight search when you start typing on the physical keyboard."

Rene: "Well, is that all?"

Dieter: "No, there's one more thing ... BOOM! It now comes with a removable battery!"

 

[lagmefragme]

It was a dark and stormy night, and the full moon lent an anxious glow to San Francisco's Moscone Center, still but for long, wind-snapped banners that read: Welcome to Apple's World Wide Developers Conference (WWDC) 2009.

Rene sat, finger poised above the mouse button, ready to click into being the last rumor round up, the TiPb Prediction post. He smiled, his finger coiled, tensed, and--

"Hold the presses!" Dieter roared as he burst through the doors of TiPb HQ, iPhone clenched and shaking in his hands.

"Presses?" Rene said. "Really? We have this series of tubes now called the inter--"

"Quite youse!" Dieter shoved his iPhone at Rene. "Read."

Rene bent forward, took it. "What am I reading?"

"Just the scoop of the century." A smile raced up Dieter's face. "Secret source. Top secret. Roof of the world secret. Would you believe that tomorrow, during the WWDC, Apple is going to..."

"... announce that they really bought Palm last year and the new iPhone hardware we've been taking about so much is really the Palm Pre."

To which, Rene faints, never to regain consciousness.

 

[gfountaine]

Happy B Day TiPB

QuickOffice maobile. Very cool can use it. got a sales gig for mobile recruitment solutions mJob htt://b.mjob.com

Always getting focs and files, spreadsheets and Power Point presentations.

Have Quick office on my phone will save me time and allow me to react and respone to potential clients right away. Plus it would be a cool app to have.

G

 

[Farmdreads]

"...Apple is going to announce that they have been bought out by Microsoft!"

"What? You're joking right?," replies Rene.

"Not according to this reliable source!," screams Deiter. "They also say that once Microsoft buys Apple they are going to shut them down and convert all existing operating systems to Windows Vista!"

Rene, wide-eyed with a tear rolling down his cheek and his mouth hanging open, falls to his knees and screams "Noooooooooo!" just like Vader did in the end of Revenge of the Sith.

Rene sits up in his bed, sweating, and breathing hard. "Whew, it was all a dream, a horrible, horrible, inconceivable dream." He reached over to his nightstand and grabs his iPhone to check the time. He pushes the home button and right before his eyes is nothing more than the Microsoft Windows logo and the words, "Welcome to Microsoft."

 

[Rene Ritchie]

Thanks everyone! We've PM'd our two winners, Icebike and Jasonact, their prizes, Quickoffice Mobile Suite, and thanks to Quickoffice, we've also sent two runners up, farmdreads and WatersWest, promo codes for Quicksheets, Quickword, and Quickfiles.

Congrats! Lots more contests still going on, so plenty more chances to win, so keep at it!

 

[Rene Ritchie]

Matt wasn't able to post this, but it's awesome that he went to all the trouble of drafting it, so I'm posting on his behalf.

Thanks so much, Matt! Take it away!

--

"Just the scoop of the century." A smile raced up Dieter's face. "Secret source. Top secret. Roof of the world secret. Would you believe that tomorrow, during the WWDC, Apple is going to..."

Dieter paused for dramatic effect.

"Going to what?" Rene asked.

".... introduce....." Dieter said, savoring the moments leading up to the big reveal.

"Introduce WHAT???" Rene screamed, quickly growing impatient with Dieter's theatrics.

"..... the Macbook Wheel." Dieter said slowly and carefully, articulating every syllable as a dreamy smile crossed his Palm-stained face.

"The Macbook *what*?" Rene asked incredulously, thinking he must have misheard his boss.

"The Macbook Wheel, you dumb Canadian. It's a laptop with an iPod-like click wheel and no keyboard. It's Apple's biggest new interface yet. Everything- absolutely everything- is controlled by moving your finger around the wheel."

Rene chuckled, then began to laugh loudly and uncontrollably. He couldn't help it- he'd never heard such a stupid rumor in all his (year) working for TiPB.

Dieter frowned at Rene, but waited until he stopped laughing to continue.

"What? What's so funny, Rene?" Dieter asked through gritted teeth.

Rene leaned back in his chair and looked at Dieter skeptically. "Seriously, dude. Think about it. That makes no sense. You *really* believe that's going to happen?"

"Yes, Rene! My source is an extremely reliable one. What, you don't believe me???" Dieter seethed.

"Calm down, Dieter. It's just a really... strange product idea for Apple, that's all. Who's your source?"

"The Onion News Network." Dieter said, without a hint of sarcasm.

Rene's jaw dropped, then coiled into a twisted smile as he smirked at Dieter. "The Onion? Dieter, that's a comedy website!!! None of its stories are true! Are you serious right now, or am I on America's Stupidest Home Videos?"

Dieter looked at Rene thoughtfully, then replied, "A Canadian would certainly think so, I suppose. You see, 'The Onion', you stupid Rene, is 'America's Finest News Source'. It says so right on its homepage."

Rene gawked at Dieter, then weighed his options. He could continue to work for this obvious nitwit, or he could move on to bigger and better things.

STAY TUNED FOR THE SUSPENSEFUL CONCLUSION. WILL RENE QUIT AND MOVE ON? WILL DIETER "GROW A BRAIN"? IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? WHY AM I ASKING SO MANY QUESTIONS?

"The Adventures of the Smartphone Experts" coming soon to a bookstore near you.
The End..... for now.......