Re: The "I forgot my dongle" thread.
Frankly I think Apple is forcing us to be highly inappropriate here. I foresee scores of people waving their dongle about in public, comparing dongle size, playing with their dongle in full view of children.
Now I don't know about you, but I think we're going to need to pass some measures, enact some bills to protect the public's morality, this is verrrrry serious business.
So I nominate HB3:
From now on, anyone who needs to listen to music in public MUST have the appropriate dongle!!!
We cannot let Apple threaten the moral fiber of the population, omg, think of the children!
There's nothing wrong with a dongle per se but can you imagine the trauma suffered by innocent eyes if they were subjected to the horrors of seeing the wrong dongle in action?!
Tsk tsk tsk...
If you absolutely must use your dongle in public, you must be able to prove that you are the rightful owner of this dongle.
There will be no sharing dongles, we are not animals.
If your dongle flops, the Genius Bar says it's because it's been attacked by the McCrory virus, the only way to fix that is to crumple it tight and shove it up ... um... what's the name of that body cavity, again?
If your dongle gets too hard, send it to Congress, they turn everything flaccid with great success, there.
If your dongle gets lost, this is fatal unless you can go to Apple, hop on the first display table within your reach, hop on and start the complicated hula dongle chacha to the sound of the Macarena.
IT'S THE ONLY WAY, STEVE JOBS TOLD ME SO IN A DREAM AND I WOULD NEVER LIE, OK?
But rejoice, everyone: After the mandatory donglenoscopy which may leave you a bit sore, and pending the permission of your spouse or parents if you're not married, you will be outfitted with a replacement dongle.
Now on your knees, heathens, and give thanks to the Mighty Dongle Diddler or we might be forced to send you to dongle conversion therapy, and that program is run by Mike Pence, you might want to right your last will and testament before proceeding.