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  1. Thread AuthorThread Author   #1  
    stalked's Avatar
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    Default Spousal cyberstalking on iPhone 4

    My husband is controlling me by monitoring my iPhone. I think he has set up a second iCloud account that I cannot access. I have an appointment with my lawyer this week and do not want him to know I'm there, but I don't want to leave my phone at home because he will call my boss to see if I'm at work, and I don't want my boss to lie for me. He (husband) is using my phone to read my emails, ping my phone, and generally make my life miserably. By the way, I'm not having an affair or anything. I recently learned that he did similar things with his ex-wife, but at that time the technology wasn't there for him to cyberstalk. He has restricted certain things from me on the iPhone - I can't facetime, I can't change my default email, I can't log out of it, etc.

    While I am at my attorney's office this week, will he be able to "see" that I've activated airplane mode? And, if so, can he turn airplane mode back on?

    I have not let on that I'm aware of what he's doing so that I can get enough evidence (screen captures, etc.) that he's doing it. Dang - it just hit me - he can access the pics of the screen captures I've saved. Jeez! When will it end?!

    Needless to say, I will be getting a new phone, but I can't let him know that I'm on to him right now, so I'm just playing dumb for the moment. Until I have all my ducks in a row, and this appointment with my lawyer is the start of that.
  2. #2  
    Laelipoo's Avatar

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    Default Re: Spousal cyberstalking on iPhone 4

    There is no way he could turn airplane mode on or off remotely that I know of. I hope your situation gets resolved safely. Best of wishes.
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    Chetan Takyar (06-10-2013)
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  3. Thread AuthorThread Author   #3  
    stalked's Avatar
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    Default Re: Spousal cyberstalking on iPhone 4

    Thank you so much. You have no idea how disconcerting this is.
  4. #4  
    bamf-hacker's Avatar

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    Default Re: Spousal cyberstalking on iPhone 4

    I would however turn on Airplane mode before you get to your final destination. When you look at Find My iPhone it shows you the last known location.
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    stalked (06-09-2013)
  5. Thread AuthorThread Author   #5  
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    Default Re: Spousal cyberstalking on iPhone 4

    I know that he is able to read my iMessages. Any idea if he is also able to read regular SMS messages? I don't think I've written anything that isn't suitable to be read by others; it's just that I'm now wracking my brain trying to figure out just how long he's been doing this and what all he's read (ex: email from my mother asking if he and I are doing well, etc.) We know that he is an anxious person, but I've had no idea that he has been this obsessed. He will ask me questions about where I've been, what I've done, etc., and I guess he is trying to compare notes with what my iPhone says I've been doing. (I might want to have a little 'retail therapy' without telling about it, etc.

    Also, does the find my iPhone feature show a path of where all I've been, or is it just a dot where he pings it?
  6. #6  
    Laelipoo's Avatar

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    Default Re: Spousal cyberstalking on iPhone 4

    Quote Originally Posted by stalked View Post
    I know that he is able to read my iMessages. Any idea if he is also able to read regular SMS messages? I don't think I've written anything that isn't suitable to be read by others; it's just that I'm now wracking my brain trying to figure out just how long he's been doing this and what all he's read (ex: email from my mother asking if he and I are doing well, etc.) We know that he is an anxious person, but I've had no idea that he has been this obsessed. He will ask me questions about where I've been, what I've done, etc., and I guess he is trying to compare notes with what my iPhone says I've been doing. (I might want to have a little 'retail therapy' without telling about it, etc.

    Also, does the find my iPhone feature show a path of where all I've been, or is it just a dot where he pings it?
    Just it's last known location. And there is no way to see the SMS without him physically having your phone.
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  7. #7  

    Default Re: Spousal cyberstalking on iPhone 4

    Instead of turning on airplane mode just turn off find my phone in settings


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  8. #8  
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    Default Re: Spousal cyberstalking on iPhone 4

    Turn the phone off, drive to your lawyer, go to where he thinks you are, turn phone on.
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  9. #9  
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    Default Re: Spousal cyberstalking on iPhone 4

    Just wipe your phone load only your iCloud and change its password and put a non numerical code on your phone and use or similar as part of the password .. No need to get a new phone or just make a new iCloud all together ..


    Sent from my iPhone 5 from a galaxy far far away (in the USA ) using Tapatalk !
    JustMe'D and Red_Berry_21 like this.
  10. Thread AuthorThread Author   #10  
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    Default Re: Spousal cyberstalking on iPhone 4

    He has the "find my iphone" restricted so that I am unable to turn it off - it's just grey. But thank you. I am about ready to throw the dang thing in the river.

    Quote Originally Posted by kataran View Post
    Instead of turning on airplane mode just turn off find my phone in settings


    Sent from my iPhone 5
  11. #11  
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    Default Re: Spousal cyberstalking on iPhone 4

    Does your husband work for the NSA?
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  12. #12  
    JustMe'D's Avatar

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    Default Re: Spousal cyberstalking on iPhone 4

    We can only assist you in technical terms. For stalking and other possible violations of criminal law, please contact your local law enforcement agency and your attorney. In regard to keeping your messages and iCloud email private, if applicable, simply delete iCloud from your iPhone and create a new iCloud account with a password that only you know. You can also restore your iPhone as new to disable the restrictions. Furthermore, I recommend that you passcode your device with a code that only you know so that no one else can access the features of your device.
    Last edited by JustMe'D; 06-10-2013 at 11:47 AM.
  13. #13  
    Bl00dRunzC0ld's Avatar
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    Default Re: Spousal cyberstalking on iPhone 4

    Quote Originally Posted by Laelipoo View Post
    Just it's last known location. And there is no way to see the SMS without him physically having your phone.
    Don't iMessages go to all devices? If so, he could have it set up to where he's receiving her messages on his ipad or something. Sounds like she just needs to file for divorce and get far away from the guy. He seems like he's one step away from causing her harm.
  14. #14  
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    Default Re: Spousal cyberstalking on iPhone 4

    Quote Originally Posted by stalked View Post
    My husband is controlling me by monitoring my iPhone. I think he has set up a second iCloud account that I cannot access. I have an appointment with my lawyer this week and do not want him to know I'm there, but I don't want to leave my phone at home because he will call my boss to see if I'm at work, and I don't want my boss to lie for me. He (husband) is using my phone to read my emails, ping my phone, and generally make my life miserably. By the way, I'm not having an affair or anything. I recently learned that he did similar things with his ex-wife, but at that time the technology wasn't there for him to cyberstalk. He has restricted certain things from me on the iPhone - I can't facetime, I can't change my default email, I can't log out of it, etc.

    While I am at my attorney's office this week, will he be able to "see" that I've activated airplane mode? And, if so, can he turn airplane mode back on?

    I have not let on that I'm aware of what he's doing so that I can get enough evidence (screen captures, etc.) that he's doing it. Dang - it just hit me - he can access the pics of the screen captures I've saved. Jeez! When will it end?!

    Needless to say, I will be getting a new phone, but I can't let him know that I'm on to him right now, so I'm just playing dumb for the moment. Until I have all my ducks in a row, and this appointment with my lawyer is the start of that.
    I hope you didn't write this from your home computer because if he is monitoring your phone he is almost certainly monitoring the computer as well.
  15. #15  
    John Yester's Avatar

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    Default Re: Spousal cyberstalking on iPhone 4

    As we here are not law enforcement, Things need to be considered to be handled by the proper people. I truly hope you can find some resolution to this and be safe
    John Yester
    Moderator Team Leader, iMore.com


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  16. #16  
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    Default Re: Spousal cyberstalking on iPhone 4

    Quote Originally Posted by Bl00dRunzC0ld View Post
    Don't iMessages go to all devices? If so, he could have it set up to where he's receiving her messages on his ipad or something. Sounds like she just needs to file for divorce and get far away from the guy. He seems like he's one step away from causing her harm.
    I wasn't talking about iMessage. I said SMS. Those are text messages which can only go to the phone, hence my previous statement.
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  17. Thread AuthorThread Author   #17  
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    Default Re: Spousal cyberstalking on iPhone 4

    I have to establish a pattern of this behavior over time so that it will stand up. Right now, it would be my word against his except that I've captured screen shots of when he pings it. But yes, the purpose for me trying to go "off the radar" is so that I can meet with my attorney without making him aware of it. It is not possible for me to delete iCloud from my phone - he has restricted it from me (along with other features such as being able to delete my email account and being able to delete find my iPhone), so I can't do some of the things that have been suggested, unfortunately. I have established a PO Box of my own now, and am looking/comparing other cell phone plans. Even getting a cell phone is tough because they want my home address, and I don't want there to be any trace of it attaching to my home. I have visions of getting a bill sent to it rather than to the PO Box. I'm having to try to think one step ahead of him and it's tough because I'm not that kind of person by nature. This is all wearing me out.
  18. Thread AuthorThread Author   #18  
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    Default Re: Spousal cyberstalking on iPhone 4

    I've posted all of this from my work computer. I agree with you - any opportunity to track my dull, boring comings and goings. So much energy expended on his part and all for nothing. My doctor has given me a Rx to help me. I've had some anxiety over it. My blood pressure shot up to 171/119 when I started piecing all this together (and I usually have low BP). Frustrating and borderline scary, I think.
  19. Thread AuthorThread Author   #19  
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    Default Re: Spousal cyberstalking on iPhone 4

    And I think this is exactly what he's doing. If I were a minor child and he were my parent, that would be one thing... but I've discovered that he doesn't even have find my iPhone put on my daughter's phone. You would think that'd be the first one to put it on - for her safety and in the event that she loses hers.
  20. #20  
    Bl00dRunzC0ld's Avatar
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    Default Re: Spousal cyberstalking on iPhone 4

    You could always get a pay as you go phone. Those don't need your home address. You could also restore your phone to new as some people have suggested.
  21. #21  
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    Default Re: Spousal cyberstalking on iPhone 4

    We don't know the other side of the story, what if you are pulling a fast one on him. Meeting a lawyer hmmm, sounds like preparing for divorce and making sure you are getting maximum economic gain out of this!!
  22. #22  
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    Default Re: Spousal cyberstalking on iPhone 4

    Notify law enforcement.

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  23. #23  
    JustMe'D's Avatar

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    Default Re: Spousal cyberstalking on iPhone 4

    @stalked, has your question been answered to your satisfaction in regard to Airplane mode? The reason I ask is for the purpose of maintaining the technological focus of this thread.
  24. #24  
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    Default Re: Spousal cyberstalking on iPhone 4

    If it is restricted just wipe the phone setup as new ...

    Turn it off hold home button down while connecting to iTunes and then it will boot into recovery mode and reload the OS


    Sent from my iPhone 5 from a galaxy far far away (in the USA ) using Tapatalk !
  25. Thread AuthorThread Author   #25  
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    Default Re: Spousal cyberstalking on iPhone 4

    Yes, it has. Thank you. I'm done. And I am NOT pulling a fast one, as had been intimated by one of the posters. This behavior has driven me to setting the appointment with the attorney. No more from me. Thank you all for your the information you all have provided.
    Fausty82 likes this.
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