1. stalked's Avatar
    My husband is controlling me by monitoring my iPhone. I think he has set up a second iCloud account that I cannot access. I have an appointment with my lawyer this week and do not want him to know I'm there, but I don't want to leave my phone at home because he will call my boss to see if I'm at work, and I don't want my boss to lie for me. He (husband) is using my phone to read my emails, ping my phone, and generally make my life miserably. By the way, I'm not having an affair or anything. I recently learned that he did similar things with his ex-wife, but at that time the technology wasn't there for him to cyberstalk. He has restricted certain things from me on the iPhone - I can't facetime, I can't change my default email, I can't log out of it, etc.

    While I am at my attorney's office this week, will he be able to "see" that I've activated airplane mode? And, if so, can he turn airplane mode back on?

    I have not let on that I'm aware of what he's doing so that I can get enough evidence (screen captures, etc.) that he's doing it. Dang - it just hit me - he can access the pics of the screen captures I've saved. Jeez! When will it end?!

    Needless to say, I will be getting a new phone, but I can't let him know that I'm on to him right now, so I'm just playing dumb for the moment. Until I have all my ducks in a row, and this appointment with my lawyer is the start of that.
    06-09-2013 07:46 AM
  2. Laelipoo's Avatar
    There is no way he could turn airplane mode on or off remotely that I know of. I hope your situation gets resolved safely. Best of wishes.
    06-09-2013 08:40 AM
  3. stalked's Avatar
    Thank you so much. You have no idea how disconcerting this is.
    06-09-2013 08:43 AM
  4. bamf-hacker's Avatar
    I would however turn on Airplane mode before you get to your final destination. When you look at Find My iPhone it shows you the last known location.
    06-09-2013 09:10 AM
  5. stalked's Avatar
    I know that he is able to read my iMessages. Any idea if he is also able to read regular SMS messages? I don't think I've written anything that isn't suitable to be read by others; it's just that I'm now wracking my brain trying to figure out just how long he's been doing this and what all he's read (ex: email from my mother asking if he and I are doing well, etc.) We know that he is an anxious person, but I've had no idea that he has been this obsessed. He will ask me questions about where I've been, what I've done, etc., and I guess he is trying to compare notes with what my iPhone says I've been doing. (I might want to have a little 'retail therapy' without telling about it, etc.

    Also, does the find my iPhone feature show a path of where all I've been, or is it just a dot where he pings it?
    06-09-2013 09:39 AM
  6. Laelipoo's Avatar
    I know that he is able to read my iMessages. Any idea if he is also able to read regular SMS messages? I don't think I've written anything that isn't suitable to be read by others; it's just that I'm now wracking my brain trying to figure out just how long he's been doing this and what all he's read (ex: email from my mother asking if he and I are doing well, etc.) We know that he is an anxious person, but I've had no idea that he has been this obsessed. He will ask me questions about where I've been, what I've done, etc., and I guess he is trying to compare notes with what my iPhone says I've been doing. (I might want to have a little 'retail therapy' without telling about it, etc.

    Also, does the find my iPhone feature show a path of where all I've been, or is it just a dot where he pings it?
    Just it's last known location. And there is no way to see the SMS without him physically having your phone.
    06-09-2013 06:19 PM
  7. kataran's Avatar
    Instead of turning on airplane mode just turn off find my phone in settings


    Sent from my iPhone 5
    06-09-2013 08:28 PM
  8. Nophix's Avatar
    Turn the phone off, drive to your lawyer, go to where he thinks you are, turn phone on.
    06-09-2013 10:11 PM
  9. Peligro911's Avatar
    Just wipe your phone load only your iCloud and change its password and put a non numerical code on your phone and use or similar as part of the password .. No need to get a new phone or just make a new iCloud all together ..


    Sent from my iPhone 5 from a galaxy far far away (in the USA ) using Tapatalk !
    06-09-2013 10:26 PM
  10. stalked's Avatar
    He has the "find my iphone" restricted so that I am unable to turn it off - it's just grey. But thank you. I am about ready to throw the dang thing in the river.

    Instead of turning on airplane mode just turn off find my phone in settings


    Sent from my iPhone 5
    06-10-2013 09:10 AM
  11. brdl04's Avatar
    Does your husband work for the NSA?
    06-10-2013 09:57 AM
  12. Just_Me_D's Avatar
    We can only assist you in technical terms. For stalking and other possible violations of criminal law, please contact your local law enforcement agency and your attorney. In regard to keeping your messages and iCloud email private, if applicable, simply delete iCloud from your iPhone and create a new iCloud account with a password that only you know. You can also restore your iPhone as new to disable the restrictions. Furthermore, I recommend that you passcode your device with a code that only you know so that no one else can access the features of your device.
    Last edited by JustMe'D; 06-10-2013 at 11:47 AM.
    06-10-2013 10:09 AM
  13. Bl00dRunzC0ld's Avatar
    Just it's last known location. And there is no way to see the SMS without him physically having your phone.
    Don't iMessages go to all devices? If so, he could have it set up to where he's receiving her messages on his ipad or something. Sounds like she just needs to file for divorce and get far away from the guy. He seems like he's one step away from causing her harm.
    06-10-2013 10:42 AM
  14. danimal1968's Avatar
    My husband is controlling me by monitoring my iPhone. I think he has set up a second iCloud account that I cannot access. I have an appointment with my lawyer this week and do not want him to know I'm there, but I don't want to leave my phone at home because he will call my boss to see if I'm at work, and I don't want my boss to lie for me. He (husband) is using my phone to read my emails, ping my phone, and generally make my life miserably. By the way, I'm not having an affair or anything. I recently learned that he did similar things with his ex-wife, but at that time the technology wasn't there for him to cyberstalk. He has restricted certain things from me on the iPhone - I can't facetime, I can't change my default email, I can't log out of it, etc.

    While I am at my attorney's office this week, will he be able to "see" that I've activated airplane mode? And, if so, can he turn airplane mode back on?

    I have not let on that I'm aware of what he's doing so that I can get enough evidence (screen captures, etc.) that he's doing it. Dang - it just hit me - he can access the pics of the screen captures I've saved. Jeez! When will it end?!

    Needless to say, I will be getting a new phone, but I can't let him know that I'm on to him right now, so I'm just playing dumb for the moment. Until I have all my ducks in a row, and this appointment with my lawyer is the start of that.
    I hope you didn't write this from your home computer because if he is monitoring your phone he is almost certainly monitoring the computer as well.
    06-10-2013 11:38 AM
  15. John Yester's Avatar
    As we here are not law enforcement, Things need to be considered to be handled by the proper people. I truly hope you can find some resolution to this and be safe
    06-10-2013 11:43 AM
  16. Laelipoo's Avatar
    Don't iMessages go to all devices? If so, he could have it set up to where he's receiving her messages on his ipad or something. Sounds like she just needs to file for divorce and get far away from the guy. He seems like he's one step away from causing her harm.
    I wasn't talking about iMessage. I said SMS. Those are text messages which can only go to the phone, hence my previous statement.
    06-10-2013 11:47 AM
  17. stalked's Avatar
    I have to establish a pattern of this behavior over time so that it will stand up. Right now, it would be my word against his except that I've captured screen shots of when he pings it. But yes, the purpose for me trying to go "off the radar" is so that I can meet with my attorney without making him aware of it. It is not possible for me to delete iCloud from my phone - he has restricted it from me (along with other features such as being able to delete my email account and being able to delete find my iPhone), so I can't do some of the things that have been suggested, unfortunately. I have established a PO Box of my own now, and am looking/comparing other cell phone plans. Even getting a cell phone is tough because they want my home address, and I don't want there to be any trace of it attaching to my home. I have visions of getting a bill sent to it rather than to the PO Box. I'm having to try to think one step ahead of him and it's tough because I'm not that kind of person by nature. This is all wearing me out.
    06-10-2013 05:19 PM
  18. stalked's Avatar
    I've posted all of this from my work computer. I agree with you - any opportunity to track my dull, boring comings and goings. So much energy expended on his part and all for nothing. My doctor has given me a Rx to help me. I've had some anxiety over it. My blood pressure shot up to 171/119 when I started piecing all this together (and I usually have low BP). Frustrating and borderline scary, I think.
    06-10-2013 05:22 PM
  19. stalked's Avatar
    And I think this is exactly what he's doing. If I were a minor child and he were my parent, that would be one thing... but I've discovered that he doesn't even have find my iPhone put on my daughter's phone. You would think that'd be the first one to put it on - for her safety and in the event that she loses hers.
    06-10-2013 05:24 PM
  20. Bl00dRunzC0ld's Avatar
    You could always get a pay as you go phone. Those don't need your home address. You could also restore your phone to new as some people have suggested.
    06-10-2013 05:26 PM
  21. Etios's Avatar
    We don't know the other side of the story, what if you are pulling a fast one on him. Meeting a lawyer hmmm, sounds like preparing for divorce and making sure you are getting maximum economic gain out of this!!
    06-10-2013 05:35 PM
  22. neonworm's Avatar
    Notify law enforcement.

    Sent from my XT907 using Tapatalk 4 Beta
    06-10-2013 05:38 PM
  23. Just_Me_D's Avatar
    @stalked, has your question been answered to your satisfaction in regard to Airplane mode? The reason I ask is for the purpose of maintaining the technological focus of this thread.
    06-10-2013 05:41 PM
  24. Peligro911's Avatar
    If it is restricted just wipe the phone setup as new ...

    Turn it off hold home button down while connecting to iTunes and then it will boot into recovery mode and reload the OS


    Sent from my iPhone 5 from a galaxy far far away (in the USA ) using Tapatalk !
    06-10-2013 06:04 PM
  25. stalked's Avatar
    Yes, it has. Thank you. I'm done. And I am NOT pulling a fast one, as had been intimated by one of the posters. This behavior has driven me to setting the appointment with the attorney. No more from me. Thank you all for your the information you all have provided.
    06-10-2013 06:54 PM
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