- 06-01-2011, 03:59 PM #201
- 06-01-2011, 04:01 PM #202
- 06-01-2011, 04:02 PM #203
- 06-01-2011, 04:04 PM #204
It would have to be 1 pair of boxer briefs! Our salesman was making his rounds in the country and was unable to make it to a bathroom and "destroyed" his boxers. He had to pull over and use leaves, grass and an old newspaper to clean as well as he could before making the stiff legged walk of shame into walmart to buy a new clean pair. He then use the walmart bathroom and put them on. I gladly gave him the money for the new boxers just for what he had just been through.
- 06-01-2011, 04:05 PM #205iMore Nanite
- 2 Posts
Bull Balls. I was the equipment manager for a professional hockey team, and the team was in need of a strong finish to make the playoffs. The coach talked to the team about putting your "balls on the line" every night. This began a tradition of the player of the game putting their "balls" on the line , usually made of hockey tape, and then naming the player that put their balls on the line that game. They became more creative and comical as our playoff push went on. Our goalie was selected player of the game one night and had the responsibility of selecting the next player of the game. He came to me and said he wanted real bull balls to hang on the line, he asked if I could get them. I went to work and contacted a butcher and one thing led to another and I actually expensed 2 bull balls. Funny thing is that we lost that next game, so we had to travel to the next city with two frozen bull balls on the plane. My apologies for the crudeness of the story but you asked.
- 06-01-2011, 04:05 PM #206
I had to expense a jar of vaseline and a copy of the Maxim swimsuit issue once. Yes, really!
The Maxim was because we were having an office party with the theme of 'beach' (this was a startup, so crap like this was OK), so we used that for wall deco.
The vaseline was a temporary stand-in for o-ring grease so get our vacuum cleaner working well enough to clean the space for the party!
- 06-01-2011, 04:06 PM #207
One time my boss was in town and we were making sales calls together. After lunch, we decided to try calling a few clients up to see if anyone would be able to meet us at the bar. We were successful.
A few hours later we had a $1,000 tab - Lots of drinks at the bar and two cheeseburgers.
All I've ever had to show for this lapse of judgement was a bad hangover at work the next day. Maybe it can finally pay off.
- 06-01-2011, 04:12 PM #208
- 06-01-2011, 04:23 PM #209
- 06-01-2011, 04:24 PM #210iMore Newbie
- 11 Posts
I used to work on a construction site and my job was to purchase all the materials for building houses.
One of the company's we used did offers with screws and nails and that type of thing! so depending on how much you ordered the better the items were.. SO as most jobs do i knew this one was coming to an end.. so i was able to get myself and my mum a new TV and Stereo each!
And it only cost the company 50,000 boxes of screws :-)
- 06-01-2011, 04:35 PM #211
Got trapped at work during Sn0MG! 2011 (also known as snowmageddon), and expensed dinner for the night. Only thing open, because of the blizzard, was the hotel we finally made it to, and a 24 hour grocery, so the receipt showed:
Microwave egg rolls, a can of Pringles, and "beverages".
- 06-01-2011, 04:36 PM #212iPhone Nanite
- 7 Posts
Try this again...this is for real, coworkers can back me up with proof of this expense report!
1 adult movie (told them it was adult because it was rated "R")
bananas (6 I think?)
1 large sharp knife (receipt said large sharp knife!)
box of tampons (claimed hygiene)
2 magazines (SI and Maxim)
Head Beer (it said Head $5.00 on the receipt)
1 little mermaid pen
cabbage patch doll
1 Happy Meal
Why you ask? Well I was in Atlanta for business and I needed the hotel room. I had to pick up fruit on the way to the meeting, so I got bananas and pineapple because they were on sale. I bought the knife to cut the pineapple. While I was at the store, my coworker called and asked if I could get her some lotion because her hands were dry and she left hers at home. She then asked if I could pick up tampons because she left those at home as well. I said yes because I am a gentleman. While I was there I picked up the two magazines to read at the airport on the way home and the Deer Head Beer for after the meeting...which said Head on the receipt, take that how you want. I was not too hungry after the meeting, so I just got a happy meal because it is a lot smaller. The little mermaid pen and cabbage patch doll were a gift for a little one at home.
I know what you thought when you saw adult movie and lotion! The fish....well luckily we had a coworker get to the meeting early and saw the fish in the tank had died, so I quickly typed Pet Store into the GPS and picked up 6 fish so we would not have to look at a sad tank.
At first glance, you would think this receipt goes to a "crazy" person or someone who has issues! It is definitely out there and yes, my coworkers can prove it!!!
1 hotel room in Atlanta
- 06-01-2011, 04:42 PM #213iPhone Nanite
- 2 Posts
business or pleasure?
As an expense report auditor for a large corporation, I once saw a male employee try to expense a Home DNA/Paternity Test that he had ordered online and even had it delivered to the business address. Had he not been audited, it may have slipped by accounting and been paid for by the company. His defense when I had to contact him regarding the expense was that the 'incident' in question occurred during a business trip, so he thought it would be okay for the company to pay for the test. Of course, he was sent on the trip for business, not 'pleasure'... but apparently he had some free time while away. He was willing to reimburse the charges in cash and didn't want this put on his personal credit card because he had a significant other (aka: wife) that would be troubled by this. Oh really, sir? You don't say!
- 06-01-2011, 04:42 PM #214iPhone Nanite
- 1 Posts
I had my credit card compromised unbeknownst to me on a business trip. Figured it out when a week later I was phoned by the credit card company to see if I was buying a video camera. Apparently I had already purchased one at another store 30 minutes prior. I had my card at all times. By the time my card was cancelled they had already purchased a rental truck, a bed, alcohol, Wendy's and the camera equipment. I don't even want to think what they were filming! And why Wendy's? Those purchases were fun to explain to Finance. For an expense of my own doing it was a fitness video. That's another story.
- 06-01-2011, 04:45 PM #215
- 06-01-2011, 04:47 PM #216
When I was working for our local radio station, the station took Kid Rock to a strip club after one of his concerts.
I now work for a newspaper, and found out a couple of years ago that one of our local politicians was playing the national anthem for a NASCAR race at the track thee hours away, so I went to get the photo. Had garage passes and everything.
- 06-01-2011, 04:49 PM #217
Ok, so I was in Taiwan on business and bought a bunch of Cuban Cigars (Nice Ones) and expensed them. Didnt know if my company was going to go for it but they never said anything
Another time I was on a business trip and I had a cold so I bought some cold medicine from the only store that was open, and the receipt said MISC DRUGS... HAHA
- 06-01-2011, 04:49 PM #218
- 06-01-2011, 04:50 PM #219
- 06-01-2011, 04:53 PM #220iPhone Nanite
- 4 Posts
not my expense report, but a colleague submitted one that looked like he was expensing a strip club in italy. after investigation, it turned out the receipt was for a taxi company that sold advertising space on the receipt to the strip club!
- 06-01-2011, 04:57 PM #221
- 06-01-2011, 05:02 PM #222
Insurance deductible, PSP, and 2 traffic violations... lol!
Some guy was on his way to a business meeting. He was running late so he was speeding. He got pulled over and got 2 tickets for speeding and reckless driving. Not long after, he crashed into another car on his way to the same meeting. He ended up missing the meeting and while he waited at the airport for his flight back, he got too "bored" and bought a psp to entertain himself. When he arrived, he gave us the expense report. It contained the 2 traffic violations, his insurance deductible and increased premiums for the next 3 years, and the cost of the psp system plus games. Needless to say, he was only reimbursed a very small fraction of his "expenses" which made him furious and he quit. I think the white iPhone 4 would have held him off better than the psp!
- 06-01-2011, 05:04 PM #223
- 06-01-2011, 05:05 PM #224iPhone Newbie
- 17 Posts
oh yeah... it had to be that baby giraffe I bought for the office party.
- 06-01-2011, 05:06 PM #225