Forgive me for the length...i am a writer and probably got carried away.
So...as with any epic tale, this one begins with a toilet.
On a cool September afternoon, wind blowing through the trees and the sounds of car horns and traffic fill the air on Peachtree street, i find myself talking with my father on my beautiful, mint condition iPhone 4. I have the handsfree headset in and the phone is in my jean pocket, resting comfortably as it fills my day with father/son conversation.
About 20min. in a realize that i have left a magazine in the bathroom, a magazine that contains an article that i wished to share with my father during our conversation, so i partake in a leisurely stroll to the bathroom to obtain said reading material, and share the tasty tidbits of information with my dad.
I reach for it...GRASP! The magazine is in hand...
Little do i know though that my iphone, having been tugged upwards by the now stretching hands free cord, is dangerously dangling approximately 90% out of my pocket, right...above...the toilet. For a moment the world grew silent, and for the briefest of seconds, my iPhone felt the life of a bird, free falling...flying if you will...to what it must have thought would be its watery grave.
SPLOOSH! (thank god for a freshly cleaned toilet!)
My eyes turn in focus that one could only have in the deepest of panic...MAN OVERBOARD! i scream inside my head...MAN OVERBOARD!
It only took about 1/10th of a second for my brain to send my kung fu speed arm into the toilet to retrieve the poor electronic victim...dripping with cold (But clean, lol) water, i pulled the handsfree headset out, and grabbed a gigantic towel from the towel rack to begin my attempt to dry the poor little apple phone.
I shook...
I dried...
I even begged for mercy...
...and i watched as the little iPhone 4 started to shut down...first it was the sound, there were no lock noises from the speakers, my father calling me back provided no familiar classic rock ringtone, and a strange message "No Typing to Undo" kept randomly popping onto the screen...a swan's song, the last gasp of life from my gizmo love, the iPhone saw the light, and was drifting closer...the screen stopped functioning, and then the little apple popped up and the phone sat there, no response, nothing...flatlined into oblivion.
I sat in sorrow as my precious gadget laid there in a semi-damp, dead state...only a small silver apple staring up at me...i held the power button and home button together until finally...the screen...went...black.
My mind went into a delusional frenzy..."maybe it just needs to dry out?" i asked..."maybe apple wont notice the water damage indicators and they'll just replace it if i say uhhh gee george, it just stopped ferrr suummm raiissooon?" NO! It's dead, there's nothing to do but call the local hack shop and see what they'll do to revive the little iPhone, just suck it up and pay the money and be done with it, you fool.
In my state of sorrow, anger and delusion...i happened upon a site that had a few suggestions, one standing out as both odd but completely logical..."Find the rice, the rice is the key young jedi"...in a desperate rush i bust open the pantry and find a box of Uncle Ben's best, i pour it into a ziplock bag, take my little dead friend and toss him into the grainy pool...and i set him on the counter, sealed and drowned in brown rice and made my way to bed for a late hour had come, and i needed sleep.
...no...NO!...not the toilet...
...wher...wh...where are you!?...
...GASP!...
...i reach to my nightstand, forgetting briefly the event that had taken place only hours before, but my hand felt the cold surface of the wood nightstand, no iPhone to be found...sorrow returned to my heart, i fell back asleep.
The next morning i awoke to birds chirping and the sun glistening through the windows of our fourth floor condo, people jogging up and down 28th street, smiling with what im sure are perfectly functioning iPhones...
TO HELL WITH THEM! DIE BIRDS DIE! OFF WITH YOU SUN! as i slammed the shades shut in my depressed rage. I walked sorrowfully into the kitchen and thought to myself...Why is there a bag of rice on the counter? An overwhelming REJOICE came to me...could the little phone have been given new life by my new hero uncle ben?
...i open the ziplock bag...
...i take the slightly dirty phone from the grains...
...please phone gods, allow these natural grains to have sucked the moisture from this iPhones bowels, and return life to this once living and vibrant being. My heart sunk at first because the screen was black upon touching the home button, but alas, i remembered, the battery was nearly dead and sure...EUREKA! holding the power button revealed a dead battery...i quickly attached the cord to the iPhone and swung open my macbook...with a loud "BINK!" the iphone battery screen appeared, and the iphone showed up in the itunes column...
After a few minutes of charging, i pressed the power button and he began a slow process of initializing, and then...to my joyous hearts content, the slider button appeared...
...i Slid...
...He awoke...
...and the little iPhone LIVES! Oh glorious day he lives...i wiped down the screen and frame and assured all function had returned (sounds, buttons, touch screen)...and, after a day of nightmarish dread...my iPhone 4 is happily working again.
So to make a long story short...if you drop your iPhone into the toilet, turn it off and throw it in a bag of rice overnight...it works!
...now where's that damn magazine.
So...as with any epic tale, this one begins with a toilet.
On a cool September afternoon, wind blowing through the trees and the sounds of car horns and traffic fill the air on Peachtree street, i find myself talking with my father on my beautiful, mint condition iPhone 4. I have the handsfree headset in and the phone is in my jean pocket, resting comfortably as it fills my day with father/son conversation.
About 20min. in a realize that i have left a magazine in the bathroom, a magazine that contains an article that i wished to share with my father during our conversation, so i partake in a leisurely stroll to the bathroom to obtain said reading material, and share the tasty tidbits of information with my dad.
I reach for it...GRASP! The magazine is in hand...
Little do i know though that my iphone, having been tugged upwards by the now stretching hands free cord, is dangerously dangling approximately 90% out of my pocket, right...above...the toilet. For a moment the world grew silent, and for the briefest of seconds, my iPhone felt the life of a bird, free falling...flying if you will...to what it must have thought would be its watery grave.
SPLOOSH! (thank god for a freshly cleaned toilet!)
My eyes turn in focus that one could only have in the deepest of panic...MAN OVERBOARD! i scream inside my head...MAN OVERBOARD!
It only took about 1/10th of a second for my brain to send my kung fu speed arm into the toilet to retrieve the poor electronic victim...dripping with cold (But clean, lol) water, i pulled the handsfree headset out, and grabbed a gigantic towel from the towel rack to begin my attempt to dry the poor little apple phone.
I shook...
I dried...
I even begged for mercy...
...and i watched as the little iPhone 4 started to shut down...first it was the sound, there were no lock noises from the speakers, my father calling me back provided no familiar classic rock ringtone, and a strange message "No Typing to Undo" kept randomly popping onto the screen...a swan's song, the last gasp of life from my gizmo love, the iPhone saw the light, and was drifting closer...the screen stopped functioning, and then the little apple popped up and the phone sat there, no response, nothing...flatlined into oblivion.
I sat in sorrow as my precious gadget laid there in a semi-damp, dead state...only a small silver apple staring up at me...i held the power button and home button together until finally...the screen...went...black.
My mind went into a delusional frenzy..."maybe it just needs to dry out?" i asked..."maybe apple wont notice the water damage indicators and they'll just replace it if i say uhhh gee george, it just stopped ferrr suummm raiissooon?" NO! It's dead, there's nothing to do but call the local hack shop and see what they'll do to revive the little iPhone, just suck it up and pay the money and be done with it, you fool.
In my state of sorrow, anger and delusion...i happened upon a site that had a few suggestions, one standing out as both odd but completely logical..."Find the rice, the rice is the key young jedi"...in a desperate rush i bust open the pantry and find a box of Uncle Ben's best, i pour it into a ziplock bag, take my little dead friend and toss him into the grainy pool...and i set him on the counter, sealed and drowned in brown rice and made my way to bed for a late hour had come, and i needed sleep.
...no...NO!...not the toilet...
...wher...wh...where are you!?...
...GASP!...
...i reach to my nightstand, forgetting briefly the event that had taken place only hours before, but my hand felt the cold surface of the wood nightstand, no iPhone to be found...sorrow returned to my heart, i fell back asleep.
The next morning i awoke to birds chirping and the sun glistening through the windows of our fourth floor condo, people jogging up and down 28th street, smiling with what im sure are perfectly functioning iPhones...
TO HELL WITH THEM! DIE BIRDS DIE! OFF WITH YOU SUN! as i slammed the shades shut in my depressed rage. I walked sorrowfully into the kitchen and thought to myself...Why is there a bag of rice on the counter? An overwhelming REJOICE came to me...could the little phone have been given new life by my new hero uncle ben?
...i open the ziplock bag...
...i take the slightly dirty phone from the grains...
...please phone gods, allow these natural grains to have sucked the moisture from this iPhones bowels, and return life to this once living and vibrant being. My heart sunk at first because the screen was black upon touching the home button, but alas, i remembered, the battery was nearly dead and sure...EUREKA! holding the power button revealed a dead battery...i quickly attached the cord to the iPhone and swung open my macbook...with a loud "BINK!" the iphone battery screen appeared, and the iphone showed up in the itunes column...
After a few minutes of charging, i pressed the power button and he began a slow process of initializing, and then...to my joyous hearts content, the slider button appeared...
...i Slid...
...He awoke...
...and the little iPhone LIVES! Oh glorious day he lives...i wiped down the screen and frame and assured all function had returned (sounds, buttons, touch screen)...and, after a day of nightmarish dread...my iPhone 4 is happily working again.
So to make a long story short...if you drop your iPhone into the toilet, turn it off and throw it in a bag of rice overnight...it works!
...now where's that damn magazine.
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