Look, trying to debate this with a non-gamer is a waste of time. There's people who have sunk hours into Farmville, but wouldn't touch Call of Duty or Civilization with a 10 foot pole. That doesn't mean that the former is "better" than the latter.
I think some people are confusing "quality" with "value". I've been an extensive console game player (PS2, 360, etc.) for at least 10 years (though my gaming is way down recently). I only just started using iOS devices last year. You're absolutely kidding yourself if you think that the level of game being put out on iOS are anywhere near the level of complexity and immersion that you get from a good console release. Even the small handful of games (like Infinity Blade) that could almost pass for a console title visually are one-trick ponies usually with one or two repeated game mechanics.
The two main problems are the controller and the size of the screen. On a 3.5" iPhone screen, I'm sorry, but very few genres are going to work well there. First person shooters are almost impossible, and there isn't enough real estate for real-time strategy and most sports titles. Touch control are far inferior to analog sticks for any game where you need to move a character around (or aim a gun). Even if they weren't, you need to dedicate a good portion of the screen to be blocked by your fingers for those controls.
However, if you're talking about "value" (instead of a direct comparison), then iOS can be superior in many cases. FIFA 12 is a prime example of this. Yes, it's a simplified (and easier) control scheme than the 360/PS3 version. But it's also extremely fun and visually appealing, not to mention that it has almost the full feature set of a console game (manager mode, team management, etc.). And it's frequently offered for 99 cents, as opposed to 60 dollars (or 40 dollars for a Vita game). More often than not, a portable gaming experience just needs to hold your attention for less than 15 minutes. The iOS version is a much better value in that sense.
Finally, we need to be honest about the storage limitations on iOS devices and what that means for gaming. If you have a 16 or even 32 GB device, as many of us do, good luck having any volume of movies, music and apps on your device and still have room for more than one or two large-file games. In order for an iOS game to be mistaken for console graphics, it's going to be a gigabyte or more in size, which causes big problems for the overall use and enjoyment of the device.