Gmail Conundrum Solved...Sorta
So I was running into the dilemma of gmail on the iPhone and the everything going to the all mail folder instead. I had been using exchange to achieve push while simultaneously syncing contacts and calendars. It worked, but felt halfassed.
Instead, I created two different accounts. One account goes through exchange and syncs contacts and calendars. I created another account using the regular gmail setting in the mail app and got a jailbreak app called pushmod to make it fetch every minute instead of every 15 minutes, which is about as close to push as you can get. I now have everything set up exactly how I want it.
Also, a hint: if you go into the advanced settings in gmail and change the default folder to \[Gmail] it removes the ugly [Gmail] folder tree that always occurs on the iPhone.
This has been my major gripe with iOS over android and now it works flawlessly. Im probably way behind the times and just discovered something everyone already knew but hey I'm excited so to hell with it.